Best Breakfast EVER!
by ZeroIXResoleon
Summary: Sun grains, the delicious core toasted oat grains. Eat your oatmeal sun grains every morning. NOM! NOM! NOM! Yummy! One Shot Fanfiction.


Hello, everybody! SevilResoleon here!

This Fanfiction will showcased what I've learned during my previous Hiatus period!

I really hope you enjoy it!

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**Ragna X Hazama Story: Best Breakfast EVER!**

It's the final battle! Ragna the Bloodedge had just entered the final arena for the final battle! He takes out his Blood Scythe, ready to take down Hazama at last.

Ragna looks around vigorously for Hazama. "Show yourself, Terumi!"

In response, Ragna hears that insidious cackle. "Oh, Raggy, don't you know it's impolite to butt into other people's business?"

Ragna ignored the rhetorical question. "Quit hiding and show yourself!"

Everywhere, he could hear Hazama's cackle. He has no idea where he is. After he hears Hazama clear his throat, Hazama started to talk again. "You know, Rags, I legitimately feel bad for you."

An eyebrow rose from Ragna. "And why is that, exactly?"

Instead of hearing Hazama's voice sound, Ragna feels the ground shaking beneath his feet. He sees the ground cracking beneath from where he was standing. Ragna quickly leaps back a few yards back.

The next thing he sees is a wall of fire erupting from the cracked ground. This was followed by Hazama's maniacal laughter. Ragna could expect something lethal to emerge from the ground. Slowly...something did.

Ragna thinned his eyes to see what it could possibly be. The ground continued to shake catastrophically as the object that Ragna was going to face continued to emerge from the ground.

Finally, the object partially came into sight. It looked...rectangular. When it was halfway shown...Ragna's eyes popped. It couldn't be! It had to be a mistake of some kind! He didn't need the rest of the object emerging to be shown because it was...Solgryn, the Danish Oatmeal.

Ragna yelled out before speaking. "You bastard! How could you?"

Hazama laughs maniacally as the oatmeal box roared when it finished rising from the ground. "This is perfect, Rags! I expected such a reaction out of you, just not that priceless! Read what it says! I believe you will shit your pants once you read what it says..."

Ragna tries to read the Danish writing. He read it according to his translation. "'Sun grains, the delicious core toasted oat grains. Eat your oatmeal sun grains every morning.' It's Solgryn? You really got your hands on Solgryn, the most powerful being in the universe? Are you crazy, man? That oatmeal box is dangerous AND unstable! Tell me you weren't dumbass enough to go around messing with it! Oh yeah, I still don't know where the hell you are, Terumi!"

Hazama's laugh could be heard from inside the box. "I'm in it, Rags! I bet you're really jealous, now, aren't you? Man, oh man, I can't wait to see how you fare against this bad boy. The Imperator and I looked up and down this world for Solgryn, the most powerful weapon in the universe. As you can tell, this thing is raring to beat the living shit out of you. It wasn't easy but we finally tamed it to fight for us. Now, we will use it to put it out of your misery at last!"

Ragna growled. He wasn't about to be defeated especially by a box of Danish oatmeal. "I didn't best fruit, moon and spike...JUST TO BE DEFEATED BY SOLGRYN! Bring it, bitch! I will eat you!"

**The Wheel of Fate is Turning! Rebel One! Action!**

Immediately, the box started flying around, spraying white fire at Ragna. He quickly runs into the middle because he saw a space where the fire wouldn't go.

In a flash, the box hovered very close to the ground on its belly and rams Ragna to the wall with its head. Solgryn had Ragna pinned against the wall.

Ragna coughed and growled. "Get off of me, you bitch!" Ragna knocks Solgryn back slightly with Hell's Fang.

Solgryn growls loudly, causing the place to shake quite a bit. It then sways back and forth, summoning thick lasers to come down on Ragna. Ragna looks up in time to see this and dodges the beams of energy that do come. Solgryn retreats back to the place where it first rose. Ragna follows it back there.

Solgryn fires a single projectile above Ragna's head. He was about to jump but luckily, he followed his instinct that Solgryn was about to trick him. Then, a giant eel springs from the crevice that Solgryn emerged from and tries to devour Ragna.

**"NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM! NOM!"**

Ragna scoffs. "Not on your life!" Ragna performs a Deadspike to kill the eel. "Is that all you got, bro?"

Solgryn growls and hovers above Ragna. It opens its top to start pouring some contents onto Ragna.

"Eat your oatmeal, Raggy!" Hazama's voice sounded.

Solgryn started to shake itself to release a variety of objects, ranging from Gyoza, Shrimp Dumplings, and also some hot buffalo wings. Ragna scoffs at this as he danced his way to dodge them.

Hazama's laugh could be heard again. "Nice moves, Raggy! How about this?"

Solgryn shakes itself again to release many wrapped candy on Ragna. This candy was apparently alive because of the small, miniature yells and vicious teeth that it possessed. "EAT! EAT! EAT!" The candy started to chomp on Ragna.

Ragna started to feel some pain. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Get the hell off of me, you little freaks!"

Hazama cackle sounded again as Solgryn launched a barrage of fried shrimp at Ragna. He dodged some of them but not all of them. Ragna yells in childish pain as he feels the sting of the very hot shrimp and the ravenous biting of the candy on his flesh.

Finally, Ragna couldn't take it anymore. He grabs the candy as he continued to feel the shrimp stinging his skin and threw them into his mouth, devouring them. As he was chewing the candy, Ragna opened his mouth to catch the shrimp as well. When the shrimp finally stopped firing at Ragna, he could finally take his time in chewing up the shrimp and candy. After a short time though, the sweetness and the deliciousness did not mix with him; he vomited them out.

Hazama's voice sounded. "Ha, ha, ha! Don't you know that you're supposed to eat one thing at a time? Ha, ha, ha!"

Instead of saying his counter, he performed his counter by performing an Inferno Divider on Solgryn, following up with an uppercut, and then axe kicking it to the ground.

Ragna softly lands on the ground but clutches his stomach. He stares at Solgryn's slightly worn out shape. He vomits once again before saying his victory quote. "Goddamn it...I'm so worn out..."

But it wasn't over yet! Solgryn stood back up on the bottom of its box and started to emit fire from all over its box. It roared once before ascending upward. Ragna, with careful improvising leapt through the hole that Solgryn made during its ascent through the ceiling. He was on the rooftop of the building that the epic battle was taking place in.

Solgryn was nowhere to be found. Ragna looks vigorously for Solgryn. "Goddamn it, you bitch! Is that all the most powerful being in the universe has?"

Some sort of pixilated chair appeared above Ragna.

**Missingno Used Hydro Pump! **

From below Ragna, highly pressurized water bursts up, sending him into the air. Then, two giant spiders with Godzilla roars tried to intercept him. Ragna just avoided the both of them as he descended into the ground. What happened next?

Solgryn, itself came back in sight but too far for Ragna to reach. Ragna looks behind him to see a Jeti ship from Star Wars land near him. He knew what to do right away. He goes into the ship and started to shoot away at the box of oatmeal while an epic battle of projectiles occurred.

Eventually, Ragna's ship was able to wear down the box of oatmeal. Now was the time! The words echoed in Ragna's head!

**Finish Him! **

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Inside the ship, Ragna goes into an escape pod. Ragna grins before pressing the button to fire the escape pod. "It's Boshy time, you bitch!"

Ragna uses the escape pod to fire himself at the worn out oatmeal box. With his giant sword in hand, he takes a huge stab at the box. It gives out a huge roar in pain, slightly piercing Ragna's ears as he held onto the sword that was inside the box.

Then...it happened. The oatmeal box started to become engulfed in flames and then started to explode. Ragna did it! He defeated the most powerful being in the universe! The gray skies started to clear into two rainbows.

On the rainbow was a burnt up Ragna chasing an even more burnt up Hazama. Hazama is running away like a coward. "Hey Rags! Can't we be friends?"

Ragna started to sprint faster. "You bastard...I'll rip your goddamn heart out especially since I've defeated Solgryn, the most powerful being in the universe!"

Hazama continued his girlish screams as he continued to run away from Ragna on the seemingly endless rainbow.

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Ragna wakes up from a peaceful slumber. He yawns out loud. He looks down at the space beside him to see that it was Nu who was sleeping beside him. He smiled at Nu and gently shook her awake.

Nu stared lovingly at Ragna. "What's up, Ragna?"

Ragna smiled back. "It's time for some breakfast, Nu."

Nu sat up on the bed like a plank with enthusiasm. "Yay! What are we going to have, Ragna?"

Ragna thinks about for a moment and then gave his response. "I'm thinking that we should have some Solgryn."

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At the breakfast table, Nu is humming a tune to herself as she was being served her bowl of Solgryn. Ragna sits down at the table as he placed his own bowl of Solgryn in front of him.

Nu giggled. "Sun grains, the delicious core toasted oat grains. Eat your oatmeal sun grains every morning! Right, Ragna?"

Ragna stared at the oatmeal box. It just sat there...with its front facing toward Ragna. Maybe the box was calling to Ragna to have some Solgryn? We may never know...

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Let me just say that this Fanfiction was not supposed make any sense at all. So if this destroyed much of your brain cells, I apologize.

What I've learned is that, from time to time, you should try to blow your audience's minds away by writing like this once in a while. Ha, ha, ha!

Another thing I want to say is that this is a Parody of one of Solgryn's bosses in the infamous, extremely hard games, IWBTB.

Solgryn is the maker of IWBTB and in my opinion, it's one of the most awesome games there is out there.

By the way, did you get the other references?

As always, thanks for reading and hopefully your brain is still not trying to comprehend what just happened.

The image used for this Fanfiction was made by Solgryn.

**Best Breakfast EVER!: End**


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